LIP GLOSS

 

LIPGLOSS

My new year’s resolution this year is LIP GLOSS.

More shine
More sparkle
More glitter
More smooth
More softness
More satin and silk and suede
I love me some suede
More leather like butter
What the hell
More butter
Sweet creamy or salted
More open
More writing
More reading
More books
More of my words read by more and more and more people
More of my poems published
More of me published
More of my pieces published
More of my books sold
Even more love and joy and passion and happiness
Even More sex
More sex
What the hell
More sex
–You know it is the cure for the common everything
More grace
More gratitude
More appreciation
–Given and taken

 over exposed

So far, so good
We are three weeks
into 2014 and I leave the house
Lips Berry Beaming and Glossed
I’m Ginger Sensed and smiling Origins

My new years resolution this year is LIP GLOSS

What’s yours?

That Was Then…This is Fabulous

 

It’s been a year since I started this blog.

My commitment was to put it out there
It, I mean Me…put me out there

I might write something I’m unsure of
Something that makes me feel uncomfortable
Vulnerable
Something that makes me think I’ll be judged
I post it
Float it out there

I’m surprised with the response I receive
positive
a post on Facebook
or an email
thanking me
‘me too, I’ve felt that way too’

with the letting go
I’ve create space
for new friends
new fun
new writing
new perspective
new adventure
new avenues
new ideas
rekindled relationships
exploration
even more love

Space enough for a huge party
Yes, that’s right
I’m planning my BIG birthday party.

FUN
Lists upon lists
Of friends
That grows
Lists upon lists of
menu ideas
Caterers to call
Lists upon lists of what to do next
a backyard barbeque
with Ruffles potato chips and
onion dip
has turned into
a catered event

we’ve planted new grass

A celebration
Fabulous at 50
Maybe that’s what the cake will read

The other day someone asked if Bill and I were going to have children
We smiled.
“We gave it the college try.” I said, my arms around Bill.

“That was a compliment”.  Bill said to me on the way home, “He thinks you’re 40.”

Some years ago, when I was still mourning miscarriages, my best friend from high school had called me.  I wrote about our conversation.

Naomi hadn’t changed.  She was judgmental, tight, nasty.  At her wedding, a weekend affair in La Quinta, she asked me which of her guests I thought was the prettiest.  It’s your wedding Naomi, do you really care? I said or I thought, I can’t remember which.  In high school she was the pretty one everyone wanted to date. She called me to catch up, she said.   She was complaining about her husband, how he wouldn’t let her talk on her cell phone when he was around her, he needed her undivided attention, he was like a kid; her friend had hung up on her during a political discussion, (Naomi loves Rush Limbaugh).  Her Laguna vacation house was under construction; she wouldn’t be able to spend weekends there with her three kids, husband and two of their four cars.  She asked me how much money Bill and I earned. She asked how large our home was and how much we bought it for.  She had a checklist.  She asked about our vacations, our boat, our cars and then “Well you guys can do whatever you want because you don’t have kids.” She said.  Spitting at me through the phone line..

In that piece I wrote about the assumptions people might make because Bill and I don’t have kids.  Like my Dad used to say to me, Assume makes and ass out of u and me.

I thought about getting a t-shirt.  The front would read, I DON’T HATE KIDS and on the back, JUST REPRODUCTIVELY CHALLENGED.

I choose to glide into this new chapter
with grace
why carry with me
the heaviness
that belongs to someone else?

It has nothing to do with me

That was then

Fabulous at 50

Fabulous at 50

And this is Fabulous

More on the State of NAKED

 

Officially defined as:

  1. bare of any covering
  2. stripped
  3. without the customary covering
maskedwoman

hidden truth

What is customary covering?
What I’m supposed to do?
What I’m supposed to be?
What I’m supposed to act like, be like, look like?
What I should … blah blah blah

Get my drift?

I don’t want to be usual
I want to be.
PERIOD.
Just be.
Free to be
easy to be
fun to be.
PERIOD.
Just be me.
PERIOD,
Exclamation point!

It’s been an interesting week.
Being sick sucks

throat red,
burning flame,
dragon breathing
singing the ceiling, my sheets, my husbandfirebreather
snoring smoke in my sleep.
My head gripped
in a vice
the muck pushing up
from deep inside of somewhere
who knew that was lurking
waiting for an opening
to ooze its way through
my body
snaking around organs
pushing up expanding
through my throat
pushing
oozing
oozing
up filling my head
The pounding
Ba boom ba boom ba boom
Blocking my bird’s eye view
To my life

You get my drift.

No focus
no clarity
ahhhh that might not be accurate
no
there was.

Here’s the thing.

I let go and dove into
the green guck
the sleep
the chicken soup
zinc lozenges
vitamin C

and me.

Deep
I dove
stroking through it all
the dragon breath and fire and fog.
I came out
on the other end
really getting it.

Get my drift?

‘I got it’   okay bad inside-dating-myself-kind-of-joke (go rent Semi Tough)

Here’s the thing,
even though I had a new client
to service
a speaking gig
to prepare for
a book
to write
a post
to post (first week I didn’t post on this blog since July)
a song
to dance to
a life
to live
here’s the thing
it’s was all okay
it is all okay
ALL okay.

Everything worked out
I’m writing now
the pounding stopped
and
I see even more clearly
I caught some light.

fogclears

on a clear day…

It’s like when the fog clears
at the beach

the wind blows through
the sun shines bright
the sky is a shade of blue
that’s so fresh
so clean
so blue
that’s it’s hard to capture
even in a picture
and well that’s how I feel

I’m on the other side
a little bit more naked
a feel for
taste of
caress of
nude kiss of
my
naked,

I peeled another layer.
Underneath I discovered
baby smooth, blushing me, smiling in my birthday suit.

Will I find there are even more layers?

skinnydip pier

let’s go for a dip

I think yes
And you know what?
I’m excited to keep on peeling,
stripping, wriggling, loosening, slinking out of more and more and even more layers…

Who’s in for a skinny dip?