Entry October 12
The colors are rich and dark in the dull light
I don’t look…I remember
I keep my eyes closed
I reach my arm across to his side of our bed
I can still feel the warmth of his sleeping body
I can still hear his heavy rhythmic breaths in and out
I can still smell his perfumed musk…a memory on our white sheets
And I wait…listening to the morning stir
The crying bird outside our window…Is she searching for her mate?
Feeling the nest emptied?
I can’t let go and breathe out…let my day begin without him
Without his arms wrapped around me
Without his whispered good morning on my neck
Without his lips brushing against my cheek
How long can I hold this moment and my breath and our memory?