Happy Birthday

It’s my birthday. I’m 49. WOW.

I don’t know what this is ‘supposed’ to feel like, this age. I just know how I feel.

Time is so hard to pin down, determine, define.  Not to define in science, just in a living, breathing, human way.  How to wrap it all up and take it all in…

Time

Wraps around me,
a mist
old familiar scent
that I know
but can’t quite place
ethereal
adrift
in an ocean of
moments, minutes, heartbeats,
watery sepia shots
smiles
tears
joy
love
sadness
loss
Moment by moment
Minute by minute
Year by year
Breath by breath
Heartbeat by heartbeat
Cryptic and true
He delivers on his promises

I feel free. More and more free. Non-apologetic, grounded, happy. It hasn’t happened overnight, this feeling of just being. I have been ‘trying’ for many years, I don’t try anymore. I do, I create, I live, I AM.

I am being. My life is something I am living, not building, or planning, I am being in it, living and breathing in it, my life.  I AM in my life.  I have let it wash over me like the ocean. I dove into the cool water, blue and green and deep, my life.

Life
my ocean
powerful
benevolent
dark and brooding
bright and pleasing
calm and raging
invigorating
defiant
stimulating
choppy and calm

I leapt, soared, dove
Heart First
with a happy splash

Ever moving
Ever changing
Ever being in the moment

 

Happy Birthday to Me.  Happy Life to us all!

August 11, 2012

Our Wedding Cake, BUT the best cake ever!!!